Start with three things
Write down a memory you share, something you appreciate about your partner and a promise you can keep. Small details usually say more than a long list of compliments: the way they make your coffee, calm your nerves or make an ordinary afternoon fun.
Write a rough draft without worrying about the opening line. You can put it in order afterwards.
Give your vows a simple shape
- Begin with what your partner means to you.
- Share one memory or detail that feels like your relationship.
- Make two or three promises for your life together.
- Finish with a sentence you would naturally say to them.
You might begin with “I knew we made a good team when…” or “One of the things I love most about you is…”. Use these as prompts and tell your own story.
Agree on the length and tone
Talk together about roughly how long your vows will be and whether you want them to feel light-hearted, serious or a little of both. You can keep the actual words a surprise.
Choose stories you are both comfortable sharing. A private joke can be lovely; an embarrassing story may land differently in front of family and friends.
Read them out loud
Say your draft aloud slowly. Shorten sentences that are difficult to speak, remove repeated ideas and leave room to breathe. If it sounds unlike you, try saying the thought in conversation and write that version down.
Print a clear copy or use vow cards. Your celebrant can hold a spare and help you find your place if you get emotional.
Keep the legal words in the ceremony
Your personal vows sit alongside the required legal words; they do not replace them. Your celebrant will explain what needs to be said and help you decide where your personal promises fit.
If speaking in front of guests feels difficult, discuss a shorter version, repeating a line at a time or sharing some personal words privately. Read our tips for saying your vows.
Make room for the moment
You do not have to deliver your vows perfectly. Pause, look at your partner and take your time. Your celebrant will guide you, and your photographer can capture what happens without asking you to repeat it.
Plan the rest of your ceremony · Celebrant and photography packages