Choose a calm moment
A personal conversation gives you space to explain what you want. Share the parts that matter to you: a small group, a particular setting, a simpler plan or a private ceremony.
Be clear about what is decided and what you would still like their help with.
Listen without promising a different wedding
Your parents may be surprised or disappointed. Give them room to respond, and acknowledge that they may have imagined the day differently.
You do not have to agree to a larger guest list or extra events to make the conversation easier in the moment. Take time before making new commitments.
Offer a way to be involved, if you want to
You could ask for a reading, share photographs afterwards, arrange a meal or include them in choosing a small detail. Pick something that fits your relationship and the day you want.
If they will attend, talk through travel, access and their role in the ceremony early.